Clubhouse is not what they told you it is

Mar 2, 2021
4 min read
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So Clubhouse is the new hot topic. The new opportunity of the century, the next big wave on which you should surf right now or success is going to fade away. From your whole life. Forever. Play "Lose Yourself" here.

Now to be truly honest, Clubhouse is a pretty interesting new social platform. And although everyone seems to be talking about it, I would argue that very few describe Clubhouse as it actually is. But first…

What they say Clubhouse is

Clubhouse is presented as an iPhone-only (for now), audio-only social network. It was launched in April 2020 and is probably one of the first audio social platforms gaining worldwide popularity.

You basically install the app, create an account then wait for someone already on the platform to invite you. Once you get invited, you can organize or join "rooms", meaning small-ish groups that are discussing or will be discussing a specific topic at a specific time.

You usually have a handful of speakers, but the rest of us can raise their hands and get a few seconds of fame too. Then profile bio, followers, notifications, all that stuff.

I personally find the audio side of it pretty interesting. It forces authenticity, people have to sit down and chat with each other, there is no way to just spam content like on Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin…

Okay, so that's the part everyone knows about — or if you didn't, happy to share more with you. Now the spicy part.

What is Clubhouse? What to know about the voice chatting app

What Clubhouse actually is

Okay, ready for it?

Clubhouse is a digital city. It's a digital city with a very specific type of inhabitants. We can sort them into 3 main groups and 1 minority.

3 main groups

The first main group you'll encounter in Clubhouse city is Asian people. A lot of them. Chinese, although access to Clubhouse has been very limited there, but also Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc. Clubhouse is incredibly huge in Asia.

The second main group living in Clubhouse city is called the "wannabe thought leaders". You'll easily recognize them by their extremely long profile bio's that include a lot of emojis, hashtags, and buzzwords. They also spend hours on the app and usually start their interventions with something like "but first, let me tell you about myself".

The third, huge, enormous group you'll meet on Clubhouse, well… Actually you won't meet them. They are kind of the sleeping inhabitants of Clubhouse city. They just wanted to get an invitation to feel part of the "elite". They got their invitation, they joined a room, they got excited about going all-in, etc. But that was 5 days ago and they didn't open the app since — and probably won't ever again.

One minority

It's a small group of inhabitants who are installed in Clubhouse city for a few months already. Usually coming from the US and the Silicon Valley. They're just chill, very friendly and helpful, just a bit surprised that the city suddenly became so touristic. Like any touristic city, the goal is to find them, the nice places, the nice "rooms", the gems that nobody knows about. The signal in the noise.

But wait. There is more.

Clubhouse city is also the place where weirdly calling someone you added or inviting your therapist is just one tap away. If you know, you know.

Also not official yet but Twitter is basically the newsfeed of Clubhouse. And the comment section of Clubhouse. And recordings sharing side of Clubhouse. Okay, basically Twitter kind of owns Clubhouse. Oh, wait.

Finally, we could fairly nickname Clubhouse "the new Snapchat". The big trend, huge crowds, soon zombified. Twitter Spaces are already here and other big platforms started their copy machines. If you want my 2 cents, don't spend too much time figuring out Clubhouse. It's just the first one of a kind. "The new Snapchat".

Okay, okay. I know you want it. And, well, for SEO purposes I'm not really against it. So here we go:

How can you get your invite just right now

You can't, just create your profile and wait for a nice friend to add you. The app is getting popular, so you probably have a friend or two on the platform already. Just be patient. Patience is one of the best qualities says my grandfather.

You could buy one online but (a) it's kind of stupid, honestly. I know you'd feel stupid. But (b) the seller will need to have your phone number in order to be able to send you the invite. Also, the person who invited you to Clubhouse is pinned on your profile. If the seller gets banned for some shady reason, which regularly happens, you might get banned too.

So wait. Just wait. You could like bake a cake in the meantime. Or call a friend, I mean, phone calls are close to Clubhouse.

For the ones who read until the end, a tip to grow on the app: join rooms, a lot of them. Just turn the volume of your phone down if needed, but try to be as active as possible. And if you want to make money on the platform, well, use your brain. Hint: if you want to become rich during a gold rush, sell shovels. Best of luck 😉


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